Cresterea unui copil cu autism nu este deloc usoara. Copilul trebuie monitorizat permanent, dus la terapie, ajutat in mai toate activitatile de zi cu zi. Dar vine o zi in care ne dam seama ca cel mic a crescut si are nevoie de o oarecare independenta. In acel moment, parintele trebuie sa aiba abilitatea de a-si lasa copilul sa faca diverse activitati de unul singur sau de a interactiona cu cei din jur. In acest articol o prezint pe scurt cateva metode care ar putea contribui la castigarea independentei copilului cu autism.

Treceti de la retinerea independentei la incurajarea acesteia

Obisuiti sa va ajutati copilul in toate actiunile? Il ajutati sa se imbrace, sa manance, sau nu il lasati sa mearga singur la toaleta? De obicei, terapeutii incurajeaza copilul sa faca toate aceste actiuni de unul singur Pentru ca rezultataul sa aiba efectul scontat, mentineti in permanenta legatura cu terapeutii si faceti aceasta trecere treptat.

Treceti de la unul la mai multi ingrijitori

Adesea, doar unul dintre parinti dedica toata atentia copilului, iar celalat parinte se concentreaza pe munca. Avantajul de a avea doar un singur om in preajma celui mic este stabilitatea si rutina, dar trebuie sa ne gandim ca odata cu trecerea timpului copilul devine adult si lumea sa se largeste. Faceti trecerea trepta. Mai intai aduceti in cercul familiei prieteni apropiati, rude, dupa care faceti trecerea la un cerc mai larg, cum ar fi mentori, profesori sau profesionisti.

Permiteti-I copilului sa aiba relatii sociale

Aptitudinile sociale au reprezentat tot timpul un punct sensibil pentru copiii cu autism, dar cu toate acestea scoala reprezinta un mediu in care copilul are posibilitatea de a interactiona cu colegii, cu profesorii. De asemenea, scoala reprezinta un pas important deoarece sunt cazuri in care copilul imprumuta din valorile si comportamentul celor din jur si doreste sa se angajeze, acolo descoperind alti indivizi sau comportamete multiple. Pe scurt, interactiunea cu cei din jur jur are rolul de a elimina parintii din anturajul copiilor si de a-i face sa se descurce singuri

Obisnuiti-va cu gandul ca nu veti fi tot timpul langa copilul dumneavostra

Poate dupa ce ati aftat ca cel mic sufera de autism, ati hotarat sa stati toata viata langa el, dar nu puteti sti ce va rezerva viitorul, daca sanatatea o sa va permita sa faceti asta. Ca metoda alternativa, cautati si alte solutii cum ar fi centrele sociale sau specialisti care sa ii poata furniza copilului cea mai buna ingrijire,daca dumneavoastra veti fi in imposibilitatea sa o faceti.

***

One day, we realize that our child has grown older, matured in a non-typical manner, but matured none-the-less, and we need to change our parenting to match their new needs. The seven-year-old who still wears diapers may, in fact, be ready, able, and not just willing, but dying to ride the bus to school. Without you. It’s in these moments that we need to step back, monitor and adjust. Monitor and adjust.

Below are just four of the areas you may need to change about your parenting to stay in line with your changing child:

Move from withholding independence to encouraging independence

Was your child a flight risk as a toddler? Did your child wear diapers for so long that you switched to adult brands? Did you choose your child’s clothing and dress your child? Therapy and maturity can often move our children ahead at such a snail’s pace that we can be unaware of the gains made. Checking in regularly with therapists, teachers, and caregivers can help you with this transition.

Move from a primary caregiver to a squadron of caregivers

Often, one parent is the go-to for your child. Often, one parent takes on the role of the caregiver so that the other parent can focus on work. Often, there is only one parent. Having a single caregiver serves an important purpose: stability in a time of chaos. However, as your child matures, his/her world should grow.

Start with trusted, long-time friends or family, then gradually add rings upon rings of concentric circles, such as teachers, mentors, and professionals until you have a solar system of caregivers broadening your child’s world and lifting your burden. Accept your sister’s offer to watch your child for a few hours, ask the teacher for a babysitter recommendation, use respite care.

Move from thinking your child is in it alone and let in friends/lovers

Social skills have been tough, tough, tough. Elementary school came and went without any birthday invitations, but middle school is a petri dish of new relationships. Your 17-year-old wants a job like his peers, with colleagues that you won’t Your senior asks someone to prom. Those all offer opportunities for your child to build relationships that don’t include you, that are by design, meant to exclude you. Your child may get  emotionally hurt and suffer a broken heart.

If you don’t have a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist for your child already, start looking for one. These professionals will help your child navigate that minefield. You should find one for yourself as well.

Move from believing your child will live with you forever to accept that he/she may not

You may have decided just after the diagnosis that he/she would live with you forever. That is not in your control because you might not be healthy enough for that to happen or just as with a typical child, your child might reject that notion. It’s time to plan for options, write a will, and investigate government options like assisted living and social security if you haven’t already.

A Changing Child With Autism Needs a Changing Parent

Source: https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/changing-child-autism-needs-parent/

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